Friday, December 18, 2009

Enjoyed talking to you! Please call again soon so we can continue. U coming down here? I love you more.....
from a 505 phone number, Tuesday, December 15, 4:32 PM

Oh and this is emily txting from kaitlyn s fone
I love lulu

from an 805 phone number, Tuesday, December 15, 6:17 PM

I wanted to be the first to say i love you
from a 503 phone number, Thursday. December 17, 9:36 AM

Lots of people loving lots of Leilas recently. Must be the holiday spirit.
I want both of my girls to put their trust in God not man. If tou both have read Luke chapter 5 vs 1~10 u will understand. I love you both so much.
from a 575 phone number, Thursday, December 17, 6:53 AM

This doesn't make me think of the Bible. It makes me think of David Bowie.

In case you were wondering, here's Luke chapter 5 vs 1~10. Take away from this, you know, whatever seems relevant.

5:1 Now Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, and the crowd was pressing around him to hear the word of God. 2 He saw two boats by the lake, but the fishermen had gotten out of them and were washing their nets. 3 He got into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, and asked him to put out a little way from the shore. Then Jesus sat down and taught the crowds from the boat. 4 When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and lower your nets for a catch.” 5 Simon answered, “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing! But at your word I will lower the nets.” 6 When they had done this, they caught so many fish that their nets started to tear. 7 So they motioned to their partners in the other boat to come and help them. And they came and filled both boats, so that they were about to sink. 8 But when Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Go away from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man!” 9 For Peter and all who were with him were astonished at the catch of fish that they had taken, 10 and so were James and John, Zebedee’s sons, who were Simon’s business partners. Then Jesus said to Simon, “Do not be afraid; from now on you will be catching people.” 11 So when they had brought their boats to shore, they left everything and followed him.
hey... i heard you know about mona vie. would you be interested to come check it out? <310. 03. 09<3
from a 253 phone number, Thursday, December 17, 3:04 AM

Apparently Monavie is an acai berry juice blend, so I'm not sure what there is to "come check out," especially not at 3:04 AM, unless "mona vie" is really code for something else.
idnt know about us anymore if ur already lieing thats a big prb idnt know if im going to stay wit u i got alout to
from a 312 phone number, Wednesday, December 16, 9:02 PM

WINNER: best text of the week. I think all our relationships would be a lot more straightforward if we would just text our significant others to say "I don't know about us anymore."

I just ignored it when I got this text, but I'm now realizing I really should have written back. As far as 312 is concerned, he tried to break up with Leila, and she just never replied. Okay, now I feel a little bad.
hey its sam wut is up playa jk
from a 541 phone number, Wednesday, December 16, 6:18 PM

Is Sam "just kidding" about calling Leila a playa because actually she is reasonably prudish, or is he "just kidding" about wanting to know wut is up?
What u want for xmas
from a 251 phone number, Wednesday, December 16, 1:26 PM

251 and MaYa should just text back and forth and leave me out of it.
8.012. IHTFP. :(
from a 214 phone number, Tuesday, December 15, 10:12 PM

Just guessing here: I Hate This Fucking Problem? Like if 8.012 were a problem at the end of chapter 8 in a textbook?
What time are u going to be here
from a 270 phone number, Tuesday, December 15, 5:25 PM

FWD: FW:|After careful consideration, I have decided to renew your friendship contract for 2010. I kinda like your dumb ass so don't fuck up.
from a 270 phone number, Thursday, December 17, 4:36 PM

Sissy what's wrong?
from a 270 phone number, Thursday, December 17, 11:17 PM

"Sissy, what's wrong"? I don't know, maybe that you sent her a lame text forward? Could that be it?
Good night and i am not going to sleep with you
-MaYa-

from a 425 phone number, Tuesday, December 15, 12:29 AM

I should hope MaYa is not going to sleep with Leila! Since everything we know about MaYa so far indicates that she is roughly 12 years old.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

aye ur party is on thursday night?
from a 650 phone number, Monday, December 14, 1:17 PM

aye send me a pic of u please... :)
from a 650 phone number, Wednesday, December 16, 1:26 AM

white zin?
from a 650 phone number, Wednesday, December 16, 3:09 PM

I googled "Leila Aye," and came up with an intriguing bebo profile from a guy who seemed to say something like, "leile aye I couldn't live without you." But when I clicked on the link to see if this guy really was connected to these text messages, his bebo page was so weighed down with Slayer videos and werewolf games that it crashed my Internet. So he may or may not have anything to do with this Leila. But I still hate him.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Hope youre alright babe
from a 949 phone number, Sunday, December 13, 2:38 AM

Dang it i ipened my phone resend
from a 949 phone number, Sunday, December 13, 3:56 PM

Sooo ive been getting those weird texts again...
from a 949 phone number, Sunday, December 13, 5:07 PM

Seriously, guy? Do not even TALK to me about getting weird texts.
hey its same umm i think one of ur friends called me yesterday
from a 541 phone number, Sunday, December 13, 3:29 AM

Which friend, though? This seems like useless information if Leila doesn't know which friend.
Leila
from a 540 phone number, Saturday, December 12, 4:59 PM

Yes? I'm right here...
ill text u later cez tay crying ok bye
from a 915 phone number, Saturday, December 12, 4:07 PM

Oh, dear. I hope Tay stopped crying soon!
What do u want me to do with ur candy that was sent to u
from a 270 phone number, Friday, December 11, 8:52 PM

A very subtle way of asking, "Can I eat your candy?"
Fuego putthro
from a 913 phone number, Friday, December 11, 12:50 PM

"Fire..." something that looks like a misspelled word and I am not fluent enough in Spanish (?) to parse it.

The first word is definitely "fire," though.
Hi Wut Do you wont from santa
-MaYa-

from a 425 phone number, Thursday, December 10, 8:52 PM

We've already been over this. Maybe MaYa keeps asking because she is waiting for Leila to text her back to ask, "Wut Do YOU wont from santa, MaYa?"
thank goodness your my friend
from an 808 phone number, Thursday, December 10, 8:37 PM

i dont want to get u involved i am just mad ok please forgive me
from an 808 phone number, Thursday, December 10, 8:44 PM

Intense friendship drama here. Sounds like high school to me. I would hope Leila forgives 808, since 808 is so thankful that Leila is her friend.

Okay, maybe people do use the word "thankful" on days other than Thanksgiving, after all. Guess I kind of negated that point.
ur not thankful?
from a 312 phone number, Wednesday, December 9, 6:08 PM

This is kind of weird-- I feel like people don't often use the word "thankful" on days other than Thanksgiving.
do you know someone named anne?
from a 505 phone number, Wednesday, December 9, 1:46 PM

Yes. But I think many people know people named Anne, so I'm not sure why you're asking.