Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Hey you, are you going to church tonight?
from a 714 phone number, Wednesday, December 3, 4:45 PM

Are Wednesday evenings really a big church-going night? I never knew.
Do you want a cup of coffee?
from a 949 phone number, Wednesday, December 3, 4:24 PM

At 4:24 PM? Leila, you'd be up all night!
How r u feeling
from a 201 phone number, Wednesday, December 3m 4:39 AM

Pretty good, knock on wood. My roommate and Emily both have vicious colds, Kendra and Daphne both have stomach viruses, Joy spent the whole morning at the hospital, and Catherine is pregnant... but so far, fingers crossed, I am ailment-free. Thanks for your concern, 201.
we need respite for weds, sat, & mon nite. are u available any of these? tx mary kay
from a 319 phone number, Tuesday, December 2, 4:48 PM

Respite from what? Isn't a respite like a break, a reprieve? Maybe Mary Kay means respite care. That would explain why she's asking about availability. But this still leaves me with the question of: Who names their child Mary Kay? Hello. That is a make-up company.
Am home. All is well.
from a 303 phone number, Tuesday, December 2, 4:22 PM

Safely rest. God is nigh.
im on my way 2 the downstairs
Oz3baA sh3rIFf

from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, December 2, 8:36 AM

im eating cheez-its right now at 11:35
Oz3baA sh3rIFf

from a 703 phone number, Tuesday, December 2, 11:34 PM

Is 11:35 PM a normal or an abnormal time to eat Cheez-Its? 'Cause I kind of thought that was prime Cheez-It eating hour.

Also, does Oz3baA sh3rIFf never learn?
i am gonna kill baboon
from a 408 phone number, Monday, December 1, 11:08 PM

But would you miss baboon if it died tonight?
FWD: Yes or No? Would u miss me if i died tonight?No joke send to 10 ppl.If u brake this u will lose the 1 u love on dec 29th :-)
from a 719 phone number, Monday, December 1, 10:07 PM

How low is teenagers' self-esteem that it makes them feel better just to hear that their friends would miss them if they died tonight? They don't even need to hear that their friends like them all that much, merely that their friends would prefer that they are not dead. Hell, 719 I would miss you if you died tonight!

Equally as concerningly: Does this text follow its threat to kill the one that 1 I love with an emoticon smiley face?